Doodlydoo

Well,hey thar.

Don't give me that look.I have a life you know.Well,not really a life,but if going to school,crying,reading and drawing fan art and original drawings is life,well I do have one.But seriously,my social life is a no-go.

You're still reading this?

Well,what do you expect?

Some philosophical lecture about the meaning of life? An intergalactic adventure? The story of my life? Free food?

I like the free food part,though.

Well,to make a long story short, my life is A MESS.

Meanwhile,have these:

Adam,you are so graceful.

Okay,So....

I had school today.People keep asking stupid questions and do stupid things.I am ever so glad to be back on the internet again.All the time,seeing other people around me,

So,basically,all I do in my life is reading,writing,tumblring,and breathing and whatnot,seriously I have no life.Let's see how I feel everyday:

After insanely hours of crying and eating I go to my sanctuary tumblr.While at school I just look at people like this,glaring at them:

And everytime when I get home:

And adoring Adam,of course:

Oh,you know what?

Tennis Elbows and Paper Stars

Hey,people,it'ssssss FOREVER ALONE'S DAY! YAYYY!

   I often catch myself subconsciously making paper stars right now.And listening to Tennis Elbows and Explorers by Sky Sailing more often.I don't know why,I just do.They say if you make 1,000 paper stars,your wish will come true.Well,I guess I never really know what I want,because people always tell me what I should want.

   I guess,the reason why I fold paper stars is because,just maybe,along the way,I will know what I truly want.I catch myself trying to find the loneliest star in the sky too,when I go out for walks.It all started when I just wanted to try it out for fun,but then,it soon became a habit of mine to just randomly cut a 1x15 cm strip and start folding and folding and folding.

   The wind is really rough,a rough direction is waiting for me.I just know it.It reminds me of a saying "We can not ccontroll the wind,but we can direct the sail." But how am I to direct the sail? How am I suppose to know which direction could lead me.

   Tennis Elbow and Explorers.I can just relate to them.I don't know why,I hope to soon find out.I wish,I wish I could start a magical life,somewhere far away.Just maybe,I'll have that magical life I have always dream of soon.I also hope someday,I won;t feel so empty or lonely anymore.I just want someone to share my little world with.I want someone to enter my little world,and bring me out of my head.I know I'm afraid,but I guess,that's what I truly want.A friend.

Death,Depression and Bravery

     Death.Such an unpleasant word,even for me.I witness my grand mum die,it's not pretty.I couldn't think straight,but to everyone's surprise,my brother,sister and me took it better than everyone else.We know she's happy.So,I'll get offended if someone says "Hope she'll be accepted in heaven." I feel as if I want to give them a 10 minute lecture,punch them in the face until they fall flat on the hard,solid floor and leave.

     To many,Death is grim,to me,it's the bridge to either grimness or eternal happiness,but,I think lots of people only notice the road to grimness.I won't blame them for that.Lots of things can blind us without us knowing.Another case,is my great aunt.She has complications with her intestines and what not.She claims to see nasty people,I don't even feel like describing it.

      The thing is,it really bothered me how everyone acts around me when my grand mum passed away,they suddenly seem so empathetical,why if no one passed away and they're being empathetical to me,I would laugh at them.It really irks me how they display my grand mum smack in the middle of the living room,it makes me twitch.The way I see it,they're mourning over a hollow jelly doughnut with no filling,and it's really pathetic.She's happy,shouldn't we be?

       My friend,Chika lost her mum today,and it really irks me how they say those statement I shall not state.Her mum is already in heaven,we both know it.They only hope,but do not have faith in it.That's how it sounds to me.I bet Chika feels uncomfortable too.I don't know what's wrong with that very statement that bugs me so much.

        I'm beginning to get depressed more often,lately.As you all know,February is rapidly approaching,and it will only prove my point I'll live alone with 56 cats and write books or cry all day long in some soiled house far in the alpine heights with some rein deers.Not such a pretty sight to see,either.It really,really bothers me.I wish I had a normal person to talk with without bringing up how cute this couple this,or how cute this couple that,cause my class mates are doing that.Seriously,I think I'm the only person sane in that class.

         It also bugs me,I'll... uhhh,scratch that.You needn't know that much from me anyway.It doesn't really matter,well it does,but... gah,just pretend this paragraph doesn't exist,okay?

         Bravery is such an odd word for me,now.I forget the last time I felt brave.I forget how it feels to be secure.My name means Lion's Bravery,but I don't think I'm brave.I wish it'll end soon enough.

Peace,Silence,and Promises

    Hello there people.It's been some time after my emotional breakdown.I'm feeling hmmm,what do you call it again.Relatively sad and soul searchy which is odd.Not that odd,though,I always think and get soul searchy as I do it.I've been sleeping in the back of the school's balcony lately.But,of course the noise woke me up.It's peaceful there.All I could hear is the distant voice of people cheering for a foot ball match,talking and that's all about it.

   I've been pondering and thinking in utter silence lately,listening to Port Blue and whatnot.Anyway,I've been kinda procrastinating,but it's not that bad.I end up getting the work done anyway,and that's just what matters to me.And feeling jittery too,I still dunno why,So this is basically my procrastination chart progress:

   Mehhh.gif doesn't work so well,eh? But anyway,I REGRET NOTHING.

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
I've been wanting to go to my own dream land so bubbye.

Besides my bro wants to use the lappy.Urgh,why can't I have some time to play?

SICK,SICK,SICK,SICK,SICK

   I'M SICK.SICK AND I WANT TO MAKE THIS CLEAR TO EVERYONE.BUT,NOOOO,I CAN'T,BECAUSE THEY WANT ME HAPPY,WHY I'LL BE HAPPY ONCE THEY ALL JUST LET ME EXPRESS THINGS,BUT NOOO,MY FAMILY WON'T LIKE THAT,

WHY CAN'T I MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS?

   I'm just too sick to play along with them.And they keep tormenting e with the silliest and stupidest questions,of course I answer in the silliest or stupidest way,WHY? You asked a stupid w=question,you get a stupid answer.And,I'm pretty uch going to be dead,so,yea.

  Ugh,I dread school.There's no time for e to be all s.Friendly to the new student.Hey,I need TO DEAL WITH MY OWN LUMPIN PROBLEM.I'm just sick of running away,there's no point in that anymore,but,I want to,so bad.

  I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake.Hey,I wasn't suppose to be here in the first place,but NOOO,I have to stupidly believe those sugar coated lies and honey coated words,then,BAM,I'm the one to blame,they leave me,they toss me to the ground,

  Anyone,please get the cops,dial their number,get the fire fighter,get NASA,get anyone,your neighbor,your sister,brother,I don't mind,only if they can teleport me or take me away from here.

  I'm dreading school,reality,hell I'm even dreading life.They all keep pushing me around,hey I have limitations.They annoy me,oh God why was I even born here anyway? Or at least why did I so stupidly attend that school.I'm slowly dying.So slowly,every part of me fades or turns to ash every second.

 

   I can no longer keep up with their foolishness or silliness or even put up with anything they do.I'm tired of it.So,very,tired.Or even have pity for them for being that way.

    HA! EVEN PUT A GIF OF IT,YES,ALSO RAN OUT OF PATIENCE TOO,HAPPY?
Anyone,please,please,take me anywhere,anywhere but here.

DERP

  Hello lovely people.Sorry for inactivity.I had insomnia and stuff,lol.I made a charm to repel zebras and octopuses, and I danced in the rain today.it's pretty fun.So let's carry on with the topic shall we?

  I'm collecting derp faces of the OC Crew so I can make gifs,lol.So far I made these:

And you know what?

I don't even know how any Adam gifs and pictures of the oc crews I have.

And now I'm spamming gifs and pictures of the,lol.

I don't even care.And if you hate the OC Crew or Casey,Breanne,Micah,Adam J,Adam,Hannah,Laura,Daniel J,Paul H,Andy,and all the music projects.

And people wonder why I love them so much.And,when I encounter a hater,it's complicated.

They rant about stuff like,Ada's not attractive,Breanne's voice stinks,Casey have no skills,Andy and Paul have no good sense of humor,Hannah is boring,Laura is ugly,Micah and Ada J. are odd balls.Instead of burning up,I' just sitting here,like:

And I wonder why the TARDIS still hasn't appear in front of me to take me away from this world.But,of course they need another hoot owl in their defense.

I mean,COME ON.And if you ask if this is an excuse to spam juicy OC stuff,the answer to that question is...

Okay,so before I leave:

Okay,bye for real,nao,lol,byeee